Posts by: Jimmyco

Billy Mays Still Selling

Billy Mays is still selling products. Late at night, years after his death, Billy can sometimes still be seen. I see it as a compliment to his talent as in death he can still keep the checks rolling in. He really is the best pitchman in history.

Billy’s First Video

Notable products pitched

Product Description
Awesome Auger A gardening tool.
Big City Slider Station A mini-burger cooker.
The Ding King A dent repairing device.
DualSaw A circular saw with two blades.
ESPN360 A broadband service.
EZ Crunch Bowl “A new way to eat breakfast cereal”.
Flies Away A fly trap.
Gopher A tool for grabbing out-of-reach objects.
Grater Plater A ceramic plate with grater teeth.
Green Now! Lawn fertilizer in a can.
Grip Wrench A tool to help gripping.
Handy Switch A wireless electric switch.
Hercules Hook A hook for hanging objects on a wall.
iCan health insurance Health insurance.
iTie A necktie with a hidden pocket.
Jupiter Jack Cell-phone speaker system for the car
Kaboom! Tile and shower cleaner.
Mighty Mendit A bonding agent for mending cloth.
Mighty Putty An epoxy putty adhesive.
Mighty Putty Steel A metal alloy adhesive putty.
Mighty Putty Wood A non-shrinking epoxy putty for wood.
Mighty Tape A self-fusing silicone rubber waterproof tape.
Orange Glo A wood cleaner.
OxiClean A general purpose cleaner.
Quick Chop A chopping device.
Samurai Shark A knife sharpener.
Simoniz Fix-It A scratch remover.
Tool Band-it A magnetic armband for holding hand tools.
Turbo Tiger A vacuum cleaner.
Ultimate Chopper A kitchen tool.
Vidalia Slice Wizard A kitchen tool.
WashMatik A hose that could pump water from a bucket without being hooked up to a faucet.
What Odor? An odor-removing fluid.
Zorbeez A chamois cloth.

The Marcus Clan – Jewish?

I recently discovered The Marcus Clan on Facebook. The group is for anyone with the surname of Marcus. Oddly, there seems to be a large percentage of Marcus’ who are Jewish. I don’t know much about my father’s family or history. The group’s bio states:

If your surname is Marcus then you belong here! Our aim is to create the biggest gathering of the Marcus Clan on facebook!!! Please invite anyone who has this surname.So who are you and where are you/your family from? I bet you’re a Jew 😉

The last line is telling, and so are the comments on the page. Maybe I am a Jew or have Jewish heritage? That would explain why I am so funny.

Why Won’t God Heal Amputees?

Hey Brother - Buster Bluth no handGreat question. The best book I’ve read in a long while is, “Why Won’t God Heal Amputees?“. It is free online and a must read! I’ve taken the liberty of highlighting a few choice excerpts:

“And we know that God ignores the prayers of amputees through our own observations of the world around us. If God were answering the prayers of amputees to regenerate their lost limbs, we would be seeing amputated legs growing back every day.”

“If God intervenes with cancer patients to remove cancerous tumors, then God should also intervene with amputees to regenerate lost limbs.”

“If you think about what you are reading in the Bible in the context of an all-knowing God who supposedly wrote it, none of it makes any sense. But if you think about the Bible as being a book written by primitive men like you would find in the remote regions of Afghanistan today, it makes complete sense. This tells you everything you need to know. The Bible was written by primitive men, not by God.”

Winners & Losers

Casey Anthony, “Winning” while Nancy Grace pulls an epic fail.

Nancy Grace was so sure that Casey Anthony was going to be found guilty, she was reporting that the jury was already in the penalty phase (deciding whether the crime is a capital crime or not). I am not happy if a killer goes free, but I am happy about Nancy Grace being wrong.

The Travel Channel is a Sham

I love travel and I can’t get enough travel programming. PBS is one of the best at providing travel shows, who doesn’t like a 3 hour block of Rick Steves? But PBS doesn’t offer enough for me, I want more and I’d expect The Travel Channel should hit that spot. Wrong. I just can’t take the abortion of programming that is the “The Travel Channel”. All of their shows are about food or food related travel. I already have Food Network, I want a real travel channel in my life.

Let’s look at a typical day on The Travel Channel:

Man vs. Food – Fatbody Adam Richman eats his way through America. I recently watched the San Diego episode, they don’t  even tell you where in San Diego these pig-out spots are located.

Man vs. Food Nation – A spin-off of the above with contestants.

The Best Thing I’ve Ever Eaten – Chefs, actors and comedians talk about their favorite places to eat.

Food Wars – A food challenge show.

Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern – Fatbody Andrew Zimmern eats odd shit from odd places.

Bacon Paradise – A show dedicated to bacon.

Burger Paradise – A show dedicated to where you can get a great burger.

Sand Masters – A show about people who build sand sculptures.

As you can see, there is much to be desired from the Travel Channel’s lack of travel programming. Am I the only one who wants to call the Travel Channel out? Too bad you can’t unsubscribe from individual channels, yet!

Special Kindle Enabled Version

While researching “The Help”, which is the basis for “The Help” movie starring Emma Stone due out soon, I ran into the “Special Kindle Enabled Version” copy of the book. For anyone wondering what this means on, good luck. Amazon customer service had no answer for it or the cheaper price. All I can say is that the download worked on my iPad using the Kindle Software.

Christmas in July

Dear Santa/Friends/God/April,

I have been a good boy this half-year. I would like only one item this Christmas in July, a Bell & Ross BR01-92 wristwatch valued at $3,500.  The correct model has a blue dial. When you pick it up, please double check you that you’ve received the model with the blue dial, not the white. I don’t want the white one. I swear to god if I open the box and the dial is white, I am going to break the watch into pieces. See photo below.


Jersey Mike’s is Legit

Last Sunday, I went grocery shopping in the morning. Of course I didn’t eat anything before I left the house, so I was in a hunger-rage after checking out. My girlfriend, April, had been suggesting we give Jersey Mike’s subs a try for a week or so now. I decided to listen to her but warned her about the consequences* of what would happen if it sucked.  Lucky for her, Jersey Mike’s was awesome. We visited the Tempe, AZ location. I had the cheese steak and she had a turkey sub. Check them out, I would probably punch a baby for their cheese steak sandwich on a regular basis.

* The consequences being: me complaining for an hour and shunning her from picking next time.

Remember Me?

I’m back. A man offered me money for pleasure my domain. How much? $1,000 smackers, but I said “No! Give me $100,000 and the keys to a Chevy Aveo and we have a deal.” He couldn’t meet me in the middle so I launched my blog as scheduled.

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